Moneyball was outstanding.
How they managed to build such a powerful theme in such a complicated way was really impressive. The film was simultaneously inspiring and haunting. Not two things you often put together (I think maybe A Beautiful Mind did it well, off the top of my head.)
Ordinarily, it's one or the other. Inspiring sports movies are nothing new, nor are movies about obsessive geniuses (for lack of a better word) who lose themselves in the (often fruitless) pursuit of their goals. This movie had both.
Not too surprised, with Sorkin on board. I don't know how much he wrote and how much Zaillian did, but Sorkin regularly had complex themes on the West Wing that would blow my mind -- that show's the how-to of being entertaining, thoughtful, provocative, inspiring and melancholy all at the same time.
It's the kind of movie I'd want to have made. The kind of movie I'd be proud of. And yet it seems like an impossible sell. There's very little "entertainment." It's a character study, which is interesting enough I guess, but the majority of my screenwriting and directing life is making sure that the character study still moves, still entertains.
Which brings me to Michael Bay. Now, I know that many people are such haters. Which does surprise me, because his movies are so popular. And, like it or not, he is the master of his style. He was original, and changed movies. Very few films look as cool as a Michael Bay flick. (Amazing photography much different than that of Deakins's stuff, which is just amazing on every level.)
So let me get this out of the way. I am a Michael Bay fan. Without apology. His movies, his style, literally changed my life. I was sixteen when The Rock came out, and I sat in the theater absolutely destroyed by how amazing the movement of the camera, the framing, and the editing worked to make "cool" come alive. I watched The Rock four times in the theater. I was already a writer, but that movie made me want to direct, and I've been doing it ever since.
(Quick aside: I don't love everything he's done. I love and will defend, as excellent popcorn movie entertainment, Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon, The Island, and Transformers 1 & 3. I hated Transformers 2 and didn't really like Bad Boys 2. Also, I won't watch Pearl Harbor again unless it's muted or I forget the English language. -- which actually brings me to my next point --)
Honestly, I know people are thinking, "Oh, great! A Michael Bay inspired director. That's just gonna be broken." I AM Bay inspired, visually, but not thematically, and not on the page.
Which is where I think he gets beat up a lot. His movies LOOK amazing. Sometimes (worst offender, Transformers 1 & 2) it's too fast, too close, and you lose what's going on. But where some of movies aren't great, and some are terrible, are in some of the script choices. But he didn't write them. Exception might be Transformers 2 during the writer's strike, but that even furthers the point.
He's not a writer. He's a (very stylized) director. When I direct, even the scripts I wrote myself, there's always a clear moment when I remove my writer's hat and put on the director's. And in that moment, suddenly the pages that I've obsessed over, torn up (metaphorically, I write on computer) because ONE WORD didn't work, plot points I've agonized about, key phrases of dialog -- EVERYTHING becomes secondary to the whims of the director. Which is a scary thing, as a writer. Too much power can destroy a beautiful script, and suddenly the movie that's made is not even close to what was written.
So I don't wish that my favorite writer would team up with one of my favorite directors. It wouldn't work, can't work. I'm reminded of a story I heard, maybe on the commentary, of Phone Booth where they said Bay was interested in directing. This is the movie where Colin Farrel is held captive inside a phone booth by a voice on the other side of the line. The whole movie involves him trying to save...his family or something...while stuck inside the phone booth. Something about a sniper would kill him if he left or something. Anyway, Bay had a meeting with the writers about the script and said that he loved it and wanted to make it. Just one note: how soon can we get the guy out of the phone booth.
Which, when I heard that story, I thought two things. The first was to laugh, as probably everyone does. "Ha ha ha, Michael Bay doesn't get it, just wants to blow stuff up. He missed the whole CONCEPT of the movie!" But then I thought, actually, that might be cool. Maybe the phone booth containment is just a solid first act, and then we have a bigger movie (and explosions) after that.
As a writer, I would be offended. As a director, the entertainer, I would understand. He thought: nobody's gonna watch a movie with just a dude stuck in a box for ninety minutes (or 150, to be more Bay's runtime.) And to be fair, the movie was good enough, but not really memorable. Bay's movies stick with you (perhaps through sheer, unstoppable force of will, but still.)
My hope would be to understand how to bring the two together - how to blend entertain with enlighten. With a little style.
Moneyball did both; the sequence of "The Streak" is as cool as filmmaking gets. Full use of all the toys - photography, framing, lighting, sound, editing - it's remarkable. And a perfect example of the theme the movie points to: that in the inspiring win of the underdog, Billy Beane is still alone, unable to enjoy the success because he sees winning the final game as the only true victory.
EDIT: I remembered this morning that my dream matchup already HAS HAPPENED. Sorkin was called in to do uncredited day-work on The Rock - the very same movie I fell in love with Bay's style was also the one I was unknowingly quoting (what I HAVE to assume are) Sorkin's lines:
Carla: I'm pregnant.
Stanley: I'm sorry?
Carla: I'm pregnant.
Stanley: You're pregnant?
Carla: Three weeks.
Stanley: How do you know? I mean, how do you know?
Carla: Blue - it just turned blue so I went to the doctor.
Stanley: Wow.
Carla: You didn't mean what you just said, did you?
Stanley: When?
Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty.
Stanley: I meant it at the time.
Carla: At the time? You said it seven and half seconds ago!
Stanley: Well...gosh. Kind of a lot's happened since then.
Tarantino also apparently did work, so I'm not sure which one wrote "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and ___ the prom queen." Either way, that's a good line.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Loglines
I have to write a query letter to hopefully get my scripts read. My plan is to send it to some agents or producers, if I can find potential people to send it to. But it has to be written first!
On a query letter, you're supposed to give a brief description of the script, a little about yourself, and that's it. I wrote one two years ago that I was pretty proud of, with loglines for three of my scripts. Sent it to some people. Heard nothing. Didn't faze me, really. Expected.
Now I just finished my latest spec script. In order to get a job in TV writing, you have to write a script (for free, and really that no one will ever see) of an existing show. I chose Castle. So I'm back to query letter writing.
The first step is to write loglines. I loaded up my old letter and re-read my loglines. I worked for hours on those, over two days. It seems silly, right? Why would it take someone who has written over a thousand of pages of material so long to write one paragraph. It's because they have to be concise, have to carry the plot, direction and tone of the script, and, theoretically, be interesting enough to get a potential reader to ask to read the script.
What I found, however, was that those old loglines were terrible! Now, hold on, Self. They're not terrible, but they're not really loglines. That's the problem. They're way too long. So today (I'm home with a sick two-year-old) I've rewritten them down as well as I can. Thought I'd share the results.
Below is the old log line I labored over, and then the new, re-written (and much stronger) version. It's a nice example of how exacting the process of writing is, for those that haven't done it.
Possession Falls (old) –
After a string of violent murders at Sweet Creek Falls, three former friends are compelled to return to the site they visited twenty years before. Though the memory of their childhood visit is shadowed by time and doubt, Chris’s manic insistence that a demon lives in the water makes Luke demand evidence and causes James to question the reality of his faith. Unsure of what they are chasing, but unable to deny the haunting pull of their connection to each other and to the falls, the men head back to discover who, or what, is behind the murders.
Possession Falls –
After a string of violent murders at Sweet Creek Falls, three former friends are haunted by their forgotten connection to the site and they return to discover who, or what, is behind the murders.
Mars 2027 (old) –
Four friends in their late 20s face the inevitable reality of growing apart into independent men. Adam, clinging to his adolescent dreams, unites everyone to make one last movie, Mars 2027. Unfortunately, his shooting schedule coincides with John’s wedding plans. As the wedding approaches, Adam’s demands put the wedding, the movie, and their collective friendship at risk.
Mars 2027 – Four friends in their late 20s produce their final low-budget movie as one of their ranks prepares for his wedding, but the scheduling demands put the movie, the marriage, and their collective friendship at risk.
Stalker (old) –
The prestigious Allen Journalism School at the University of Oregon welcomes a new crop of freshman J-majors. For Jill Green, college is exciting, full of new freedoms, opportunities, and friendships. But her true education begins when a jogger is found dead on campus, the first in a series of tragic “accidents.” When Jill is assigned to investigate, she discovers a twisted path of secret obsession – with herself as the ultimate prize.
Stalker –
When a freshman journalism student investigates a dead jogger on campus, she discovers a series of tragic “accidents” on a twisted path of secret obsession – with herself as the ultimate prize.
And - for my Castle script:
Castle - “Fears of a Clown”
A popular clown is found dead, prompting the team to face rational and irrational fears as the investigation leads to one detective’s worst nightmare – a clown convention.
I really love language - using words like "haunted" or action verbs like "investigates" (rather than "is assigned to investigate" ewwww!) carries so much power. And of course, brevity is the soul of wit.
Next step is writing my personal description in as concise, yet just as "selling," version. Thanks for reading.
On a query letter, you're supposed to give a brief description of the script, a little about yourself, and that's it. I wrote one two years ago that I was pretty proud of, with loglines for three of my scripts. Sent it to some people. Heard nothing. Didn't faze me, really. Expected.
Now I just finished my latest spec script. In order to get a job in TV writing, you have to write a script (for free, and really that no one will ever see) of an existing show. I chose Castle. So I'm back to query letter writing.
The first step is to write loglines. I loaded up my old letter and re-read my loglines. I worked for hours on those, over two days. It seems silly, right? Why would it take someone who has written over a thousand of pages of material so long to write one paragraph. It's because they have to be concise, have to carry the plot, direction and tone of the script, and, theoretically, be interesting enough to get a potential reader to ask to read the script.
What I found, however, was that those old loglines were terrible! Now, hold on, Self. They're not terrible, but they're not really loglines. That's the problem. They're way too long. So today (I'm home with a sick two-year-old) I've rewritten them down as well as I can. Thought I'd share the results.
Below is the old log line I labored over, and then the new, re-written (and much stronger) version. It's a nice example of how exacting the process of writing is, for those that haven't done it.
Possession Falls (old) –
After a string of violent murders at Sweet Creek Falls, three former friends are compelled to return to the site they visited twenty years before. Though the memory of their childhood visit is shadowed by time and doubt, Chris’s manic insistence that a demon lives in the water makes Luke demand evidence and causes James to question the reality of his faith. Unsure of what they are chasing, but unable to deny the haunting pull of their connection to each other and to the falls, the men head back to discover who, or what, is behind the murders.
Possession Falls –
After a string of violent murders at Sweet Creek Falls, three former friends are haunted by their forgotten connection to the site and they return to discover who, or what, is behind the murders.
Mars 2027 (old) –
Four friends in their late 20s face the inevitable reality of growing apart into independent men. Adam, clinging to his adolescent dreams, unites everyone to make one last movie, Mars 2027. Unfortunately, his shooting schedule coincides with John’s wedding plans. As the wedding approaches, Adam’s demands put the wedding, the movie, and their collective friendship at risk.
Mars 2027 – Four friends in their late 20s produce their final low-budget movie as one of their ranks prepares for his wedding, but the scheduling demands put the movie, the marriage, and their collective friendship at risk.
Stalker (old) –
The prestigious Allen Journalism School at the University of Oregon welcomes a new crop of freshman J-majors. For Jill Green, college is exciting, full of new freedoms, opportunities, and friendships. But her true education begins when a jogger is found dead on campus, the first in a series of tragic “accidents.” When Jill is assigned to investigate, she discovers a twisted path of secret obsession – with herself as the ultimate prize.
Stalker –
When a freshman journalism student investigates a dead jogger on campus, she discovers a series of tragic “accidents” on a twisted path of secret obsession – with herself as the ultimate prize.
And - for my Castle script:
Castle - “Fears of a Clown”
A popular clown is found dead, prompting the team to face rational and irrational fears as the investigation leads to one detective’s worst nightmare – a clown convention.
I really love language - using words like "haunted" or action verbs like "investigates" (rather than "is assigned to investigate" ewwww!) carries so much power. And of course, brevity is the soul of wit.
Next step is writing my personal description in as concise, yet just as "selling," version. Thanks for reading.
The (Writer's) Journey
Welcome. This is the continuing story of Unseen Hands Productions. Most specifically, it's about my contribution to the company as I aim to get my screenwriting career started (fifteen years after my first and having just completed my fifteenth screenplay.)
I'm interested in showing the process as I work toward my goals. The creative process itself is a really cool part of being a human - it's something that links us together now and throughout history. And I think the business end of Hollywood is also pretty interesting. I think showing my experience in both over the next chapter of my life will be cool.
A brief history for those who don't know us:
Unseen Hands was started in 1994 by myself (DJ Holloway) and my two best friends, James and Corey Monegan (cousins, not brothers.) We started making movies with James's video camera, and never looked back. In '96 we made our first scripted "feature" for our drama class at Willamette High School in Eugene, Oregon. The next year, our graduating year, we made our first full length movie, and then continued that outside of school.
Our movies from that era include dozens of backyard shorts, but the scripted movies are:
MAN
The Hero of the Day
The Lucky Penny
Bishop's Cabin
Ripple
Haven
A Backyard Intergalactic Love Story
Yellowjackets
Ar Yung Hiro: Episode 7
Scarecrow
Then we split up. Well, only literally. We were still unified as a company, but James moved to Chicago and I moved to Southern California. I made two features with my students at Eastside Christian High School:
Safety Squad
Stalker
And then my friend and co-worker Sun Kim asked me to co-write and direct a short for his festival, the Talent One Media Film Festival. James moved back out west and we made Pie & Coffee, which starred Doug Jones, and was an amazing experience. It also was our first festival award - a Platinum Remi Award for Directing at the Houston Worldfest.
In the next two years, we made films for TOM Fest, Sunset, which won a Silver Remi for the script, and Stormdragon, which you can watch in its entirety online.
Which brings us to today!
James has moved back to Eugene to teach, but is still active in all our plans. I'm still in Orange County, still teaching. Our current goals are on three fronts, all viable (we hope!) The first is trying to get my *professional screenwriting career started. The second is to try to get Oregon money to make Possession Falls. And finally, trying to obtain money down here for production of Brotherly Love. I'll write about both those scripts here at a later date.
I'm interested in showing the process as I work toward my goals. The creative process itself is a really cool part of being a human - it's something that links us together now and throughout history. And I think the business end of Hollywood is also pretty interesting. I think showing my experience in both over the next chapter of my life will be cool.
A brief history for those who don't know us:
Unseen Hands was started in 1994 by myself (DJ Holloway) and my two best friends, James and Corey Monegan (cousins, not brothers.) We started making movies with James's video camera, and never looked back. In '96 we made our first scripted "feature" for our drama class at Willamette High School in Eugene, Oregon. The next year, our graduating year, we made our first full length movie, and then continued that outside of school.
Our movies from that era include dozens of backyard shorts, but the scripted movies are:
MAN
The Hero of the Day
The Lucky Penny
Bishop's Cabin
Ripple
Haven
A Backyard Intergalactic Love Story
Yellowjackets
Ar Yung Hiro: Episode 7
Scarecrow
Then we split up. Well, only literally. We were still unified as a company, but James moved to Chicago and I moved to Southern California. I made two features with my students at Eastside Christian High School:
Safety Squad
Stalker
And then my friend and co-worker Sun Kim asked me to co-write and direct a short for his festival, the Talent One Media Film Festival. James moved back out west and we made Pie & Coffee, which starred Doug Jones, and was an amazing experience. It also was our first festival award - a Platinum Remi Award for Directing at the Houston Worldfest.
In the next two years, we made films for TOM Fest, Sunset, which won a Silver Remi for the script, and Stormdragon, which you can watch in its entirety online.
Which brings us to today!
James has moved back to Eugene to teach, but is still active in all our plans. I'm still in Orange County, still teaching. Our current goals are on three fronts, all viable (we hope!) The first is trying to get my *professional screenwriting career started. The second is to try to get Oregon money to make Possession Falls. And finally, trying to obtain money down here for production of Brotherly Love. I'll write about both those scripts here at a later date.
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